By Al Drinkle
October is for watching horror movies and a couple of nights ago it was The Texas Chainsaw Massacre for the thousandth time. The cats were lackadaisically strewn about the couch to enjoy the carnage too, entering into an unspoken human and feline showdown as to who could be the most languorous. The cats always win.
It was nearing the end of the flick and Sally had just awoken to find herself gagged and tied to a bench constructed from human bones. Perhaps in her subconscious she had harboured hope that the atrocities she had witnessed and been subjected to prior to fainting were all a dream, but the four psychotic faces leering at her quickly confirmed that the nightmare was all too real.
Her tormentors sat chewing heartily at a dining room table, their plates piled high with various forms of bbq—all assumedly of human origin. Leatherface wheezed idiotically while his hitchhiking brother shrieked with delight that Sally had rejoined them. Grandpa maintained his decrepit senility while Cook lecherously grinned ear to ear, clearly enjoying the meal and Sally’s abject terror.
“It’s nice that they take the time to sit down and eat as a family,” my wife said. Even the cats turned to look at her.
“The family of murderous cannibals?” I clarified.
“Yah,” she smiled, and I stopped myself short of contemplating wine pairings.
On behalf of all the Metro Mates, Happy Halloween to you and your family. We hope it's a spooky one!
To get into the Halloween spirit, watch our 2022
blockbuster hit Night of the Metrovinians:
